(photo from Wikipedia Commons)

The company Raytheon has developed a ray gun which gives its targets the affect of having boiling water doused on them. Read about this story initially on Gizmodo.  The above is its configuration mounted on a Humvee. Check out the product PDF here. They call it the “Silent Guardian” Protection System. This ray gun is supposed to work by sending what they call “millimeter wave energy” which will only penetrate 1/64 inch of skin. So while it hurts like a bitch, it wont kill ya. The idea is to use this for crowd dispersal and defense. Like getting rid of hippies and getting into Wal-Mart during a sale.

This product is great for events where you need to get rid of a lot of people real quick. Like for instance, you have a rather large party. Like one of those that always happens in movies; you know the ones where everyone is drinking and drunk, some band happens to show up there starts playing some rock song, a goat or donkey shows up, the monkey is smoking, and everyone is having fun except for you cause they are destroying your house.

Lets say its about 3 am, this crap is getting old and out of hand, you gotta get these people out cause you gotta work the next day. You can yell all you want but you know they wont leave. No need to be rude about getting them out, but what’s a guy to do? Well my friend you pull up your Humvee, douse your friends with “millimeter wave energy” and those mooching bitches will scream and run away.

Does this really work? Well here is a clip from “60 Minutes” (CBS) where they shoot the hell outta TV reporter David Martin:

One one thousand! Two one thousand! Threee… ZOMFG!

You know, I kinda wish I had been there when they pitched this idea to 60 Minutes. I think It played out like this:

• Hey they got this ray gun! It hurts like hell!
• Sweet how we going to show it off?
• Dude we should totally shoot the shit outta some old guy and see him screaming!
• Oh man we should also give him props and tell him it will protect him like a big mattress and plywood sheet.
• Is it going to protect him?
• Hell no, that stuff is useless defense but it will be fun to watch him try.
• That is an awesome idea, I know just who to call!
• *picks up phone*
• David Martin, I need to see you in my office right away!

What I would have liked to have seen is someone with a huge mirror to send those waves right back to the clowns in the Humvee. That woulda shown them!