You know by now my love for Sam’s Club. You find the most random stuff there you didn’t think you needed. Then in the parking-lot your like, WTF I spent 300 bucks on all this crap.

Oh well, one of those, impulse buys, was this 6 pack of dust remover. I didn’t go in with the intention of buying it, but I couldn’t resist it at such a low price … 3 bucks!

After spending about 3 hours in the place, I haul my covered wagon of crap to the checkout counter. Well when this stuff gets through the register, BEEP!!!! An alert pops up stating to check my ID. Apparently you have to be 21 to buy this stuff! Really?

The checkout lady said that its cause kids are huffing it to get high. I forgot, in this country, we make laws to protect stupid people instead of encouraging common sense. I think its pure Darwinism that someone huffing this shit shouldn’t progress those genes to the next generation. I mean whats next? Are you going to have to be 21 to buy a bag? Cause I am sure I heard people getting high suffocating off that.

Come to think about it, if you are old enough to drive, 16 years old, and you buy gas, who the fuck keeps you from huffing that shit? I guess they didn’t think of that one. I think by doing this, Sam’s actually opens up themselves to lawsuits. After all, if they have now the provisioning to check ID for this crap, that means they take the responsibility that this will not go into the wrong hands.

Well what ticked me off is that I got carded in the first place. I guess I look sketchy, and this item just didn’t match everything else I bought. You know, 72 vitamin waters, 5 gallons of mayonnaise, and a 6 pack of Dust Remover. That sounds like the ingredients you’d buy for a great weekend actually!

Wow, where did Brittany Murphy come from anyway. I remember her back in Clueless when she was weight challenged with cornrows:

But suddenly this girl comes outta nowhere and becomes this:

Gives me hope, maby I can get hot too. Anyway, she is the trifecta of talents. Dancing, Singing, Acting, and I had no idea it was her that sings the song “Faster Kill Pussycat” which is an amazingly catchy song. Give it a shot, I think you’ll like it:

Anyway Brittany, hit me up, let me know your secret. I wanna be hot too. Oh and did I mention I love techno too?  ** NUDGE NUDGE ** We can party it up, just let me know, call me …

Okay I thought I was done with getting these freaky crazy bad fortune cookies. But look at the above! I mean what the hell is this crap. These are the most crazy messages to give someone. I am done with eating at Golden Wok, that place just trying to bring me down.

I mean honestly, who makes a cookie with the fortune:

You laugh now, wait till you get home

I took the photo above cause NO ONE would believe me. Dude, if I catch that fortune cookie writer in person, I’m going to pop him one. He’s just trying to tick me off. Why does he continue to try to make me mad? I mean what did I do to him?

Well Fortune Cookie Man, if you are reading this, heres a fortune cookie for you:

He who tick off John, get punch in face

I ran into the above Sam’s Club. Did I miss a meeting or something? When did having products with the word “ass” in its title suddenly become alright? I guess we are becoming desensitized and this only proves it. Okay yes I did buy it though. Don’t blame me, I really did need a big tape measure with “ass” specifications.

I have wanted a Wii for a long time. Unfortunately, I still have this stupid 14 inch T.V so its a no go at this moment. I went home for Christmas and lo and behold, my mom bought a Wii for herself!

I remember when I was little and had the Nintendo Entertainment System. You know your parents tried at least once to play the thing. You also prally remember how frustrating it was to see them move the controller instead of pressing the buttons in order to move the character on the screen. Well, Nintendo finally perfected the motion sensors so now guess what, my mom suddenly can kick ass at video games. … Thanks Nintendo

Watch her in action: